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It’s most often heard in the Ruhr Valley, in the industrial areas in Western Germany. After all, if we’re talking about uncommon pet names, besides (mouse bear).

Although it’s unusual and striking, this name isn’t very common or popular. But, hey, hopefully it gives you an idea of the breadth and creativity (not to mention the oddity) of German pet names.

There’s a certain stereotype about the German language; namely, that it’s harsh. In English, you either tell someone you like them or you love them.

When it comes to “I love you” in German, there are a few crucial differences in the way you say it. Make sure you’re saying what you mean—you don’t want to scare off your new suitor!

Behold: below we have assembled the essential ranked list of cute names to call your girlfriend (plus a few shockers for good measure). Could either be used to compare your partner to a glowing religious creature toting a halo and a harp, or that big brown statue that guards the A1 just outside of Newcastle. Perfect if your partner is the kind of girl who is forever tripping over the rug, setting the oven ablaze, electrocuting herself while changing lightbulbs, and reversing the car over next door’s cat. Not for everyone by a long stretch, and if you disagree passionately then by all means vent your fury in the comment section.

Easy to pull off, low risk, highly effective if enunciated with an affectionate grin. ‘Baby Cakes’ was a song by British garage trio ‘3 of a Kind’ which charted at number 1 (yes, actual number 1; this was the most popular song across the entire United Kingdom, the land of Emmeline Pankhurst and Isambard Kingdom Brunel) in 2004. However, based on absolutely no empirical evidence whatsoever, we’re going to say that partners who breezily toss the term ‘dude’ back and forth once in a while have far more fun and far fewer arguments about electricity bills.

This name is more popular for women, and it ranks in the top five of popular German terms of endearment.

If you’re using it with a child, however, you might want to transform it into the diminutive form, (both mean “little mouse”).

If you perused the above list and found it entirely uninspired and redundant (first of all how you), it is possible to take another route to nickname paradise: you can conjure a pet name out of the ether like a love-struck wizard.

In fact, we’re putting our foot down and saying that this is the best one. This wasn’t even supposed to be a competition but look: this is the best nickname for your girlfriend.

Empower her, admire her, support her, and indulge your inner dweeb all at the same time with this nerd-tastic moniker.

You can’t just call her ' Emma' forever, because a) that’s frightfully formal and b) chances are that’s not even her name. A shortening of ‘babe’, because pronouncing the second ‘b’ is too much effort.

Fortunately for you, we have decided create a follow up to our previous offering, ‘Cute Names to Call Your Boyfriend’. Expect the ‘e’ to also be dropped within the next three years, when we will all be calling each other ‘Ba’ across candlelit dinner tables.

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