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At this moment, unemployment is taking a toll on these four realms; however, the trick to lessening unemployment’s severe control is self-care.

Self-care means honoring the other facets of your personality and life, thereby diminishing the attention given to the unemployment monster.

Instead, I stuff my pride, and in my most polite tone, I tell the preacher-man to stick it. All are forced to be passengers on the emotional roller coaster ride of a loved one’s bout with unemployment.

“During every rise and fall of this god-forsaken unemployment phase, I have been there to support my partner every step of the way. During these years, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been at some function where after a few drinks someone said to me, ‘I feel so bad for your partner. Be patient, be supportive.’ “I think to myself, ‘, be supportive? ’ I want to jump out of my skin and slap that person silly. It is tough to be unemployed, but it is equally tough to be the partner watching and supporting the unemployed person. Some have become involuntary breadwinners, straining to care for everyone and everything with one lone paycheck.

I have approached this from a females perspective, as that is what I am and what I have been dealing with in my husband).

Unfortunately, if you’re caught up in the romance you may miss the manipulation that comes along with it. Ask anyone who has ever been with a narcissist, they will tell you all the red flags were there.

They will also tell you that they could see these red flags, but they dismissed them or rationalized the narcissist’s bad or questionable behavior away. Narcissists have to move quickly in a relationship, plowing over your natural resistance with over the top romance.

I certainly hope and pray that our economy improves soon and each unemployed person finds work that is fulfilling in both meaning and income. I say it, dumbfounded, because at some point every day, I realize that I can’t believe how long it’s been. Often, their emotional needs involuntarily get thrown aside because of the attitude that “unemployment isn’t happening to you, it’s happening to the unemployed.” Both the unemployed and partners of unemployed vacillate on the spectrum between the hope for the day of the “Great News” (“I start a new, real job on Monday and can help pay the bills now! So first of all, do yourself a favor and give yourself—your mind, body, and soul—a break.

But how about support for the partners of unemployed people? ”) and fear that their savings will be sucked dry and they’ll be forced to live in a shelter—or worse, their parents’ house. How can you possibly give yourself a break at a time like this?

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