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I feel sorry for her husband, presumably unaware that the mother of his children is pursuing cheap thrills with strangers.By now, I have been contacted by scores of women, so I arrange dates with the ones who are prepared to meet me in the next few days. Blonde, slim and relaxed, she has already told me by email that she's been married for ten years, has young children, time on her hands and wants to add a frisson of excitement to her life.After discussing how mundane marriages become and avoiding questions about my personal life, it's clear we're past our sell-by date after ten minutes, never mind ten years. She doesn't want to discuss her husband, and I feel uneasy talking to her.Despite this, she still seems keen to flirt with me.But if I'm going to find out what really makes these women tick, I need to leave the safety of the virtual world and see them for myself. I arrange to meet a 41-year-old mother of two who misses "romance and flirting", in a cafe in two days' time.She has declined to tell me her name, so I have to think of her as her web sobriquet.

One woman sends me a message heavily laden with sexual innuendo and I come to regard her as the mistress of the single entendre. Another woman's first contact with me included a plan for a day out together, including visits to art galleries, a stroll round a park and then "a few hours under the duvet". I'm later propositioned by someone who tells me she has an hourglass figure.In the end, we agree to part and she wishes me luck and assures me I'll find the perfect paramour. This was like having a meeting with a new accountant with a helping of self-disgust thrown in.Later on I'm perplexed when she sends me two flirty text messages.Your picture can be viewed only if you give a password to the person with whom you are conversing.The idea is presumably to safeguard people from searching for their own spouses on the site - though how a husband would explain to his errant wife how he came to stumble across her picture on a website for adulterers, I don't know.

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I also noticed that it ultimately doesn’t feel good. When I’m in pain or avoiding feeling something, I default to habits such as objectifying women. You be the judge of whether it works for you and your relationships to women. Ask mature women, older women, younger women, and ask your partner. It requires I feel what is going on deep down inside of me. Once I get connected to me again, I notice how I can appreciate a beautiful woman and I’m in my body, connected to my heart. The attraction and inspiration simply are there or not independent of how she looks.”“it happens in the hungry ghost realm I live in most of the time….me its about seeking approval, biological instincts, unmet needs, and grasping for wholeness outside myself……most fun and exciting and ego gratifying times in my life have been when i have embraced it and danced with it and gave myself permission to play with the illusions, projections, feelings, etc……..”“I don’t know any women who don’t like being appreciated!

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