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All online dating services provide a text-based messaging service which allows members to communicate.

It's similar to e-mail, except you never leave the dating service, don't need to create a separate account, and can remain anonymous.

Bad spelling and grammar are the message equivalent of showing up at a date smelling bad: correctable and possibly excusable, but not pretty at all.

The great value of these internal messaging services is that they let you remain private and safe.

For me personally I truly love this online game of Internet dating for far more reasons than I can write within this blog.

The opportunity to meet so many fantastic women from around the globe is absolutely mind-blowing.

Without fail, we have found that even the best boilerplate messages look fake. Just because you have narrowed the field doesn't mean you should write an entire book to each one. Provocative comes from the root "to provoke." And provoke means to start something. By sending messages that look like every other message received by that person, you blend into the background. Solution: Look at that person's profile and try to anticipate the obvious stuff that what most people would comment on.

We aren't proponents of throwing out a net widely to see what you catch, and most people can spot these type of messages intuitively. Isn't that what you're trying to do with this first message--start something? For instance, if the person mentions in the profile that "American Idiot" is Green Day's greatest album of all time, say that you beg to differ: "21st Century Breakdown" is. For example, if a guy prominently features pictures of himself at amateur bodybuilding events, and also includes a little detail in his profile about being a huge Billie Holiday fan, which one will you comment on?

first message online dating template-57first message online dating template-50first message online dating template-56

This will be will be pretty much the same for most.

Messaging is a crucial step, one where online daters often falter--due to simple, easily correctable reasons. An online dater creates a stock message, a template of sorts, and re-uses it when contacting different members.

Sometimes the dater will get fancy, and change out parts of the boilerplate message to "customize" it for a different person. You won't waste your own time, or the time and energy of the person on the other end of the message. They tax the patience of the other person (even if they are interested). The word "provocative" has lost its true meaning, somehow coming to mean being sexy or dressing in cheap black lingerie.

“Hey.” A fine way to greet a real life friend, a cold (yet sufficient) salutation for a politically conservative family member, or something to shout at a cab that’s driven through a wet garbage puddle, soaking your pants.

It’ll do you no good, however, in finding a date online.

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He said 2 1/2 years (so before we started dating) and over 30. I thought nothing of it — I really trusted him with all my heart. At first, it was amazing, but it dropped off very fast.

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