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Ilkme recalls a recent client; a corporate executive in his mid-30s, divorced after 10 years of marriage. This man’s confidence had been floored by an acrimonious divorce says Ilkme, and he was very negative.

“Yet he was good-looking, tall and financially independent. A girl does not feel safe in the presence of a guy who has no confidence.” After training and field-work this man is now in a committed relationship.

“If he crosses his legs, you cross your legs, and, after a while, you get into the same rhythm.

Ask questions, be genuinely interested, be tactile, but not excessively so. If you’ve arranged to call or text her, don’t leave her waiting for two or three days because someone’s told you that’s what you’re supposed to do. If you like someone, go with your gut and call her soon — don’t be a dating-manual robot.

It’s better to make a guy invest in the relationship.

“If she sleeps with him on the first date, he won’t consider her relationship material.

You don’t want a casual hook-up, but you don’t know how to find a committed relationship. Fact: The biggest problems faced by Irish guys on the dating scene are lack of confidence and too much drink.

Fact: Irish women also need to watch their alcohol intake — but must not be bossy nor layer-on make-up.

“Don’t be late, don’t talk about yourself all the time, don’t talk about past relationships and don’t try too hard,” she says. People are visual and first impressions count, says Mulcahy, so prepare carefully: “How you look is very important.

“Stand up and shake her hand and give her a hug — a kiss may be seen as intrusive,” says Feargal Harrington, director of Intro Dating Agency.

The man should make eye contact, but not stare or leer.

You need to come across as a strong, confident male, but you can’t do that unless you actually work on building up your confidence.

A lot of guys fake it, but they don’t fool women.” There’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance — if you’re assertive about yourself, that’s confidence, but attempting to dominate is arrogant, and a turn-off.




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Jenifer Langosch has covered the Cardinals for since 2012, and previously covered the Pirates from 2007-11. This story was not subject to the approval of Major League Baseball or its clubs.