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It’s the end of the day, and you and your nerd are hanging out on the couch. There isn’t a computer anywhere nearby, and you’re giving your nerd the daily debrief. Expect active involvement from your nerd when you trip the relevance flag.

“Spent an hour at the post office trying to ship that package to your mom, and then I went down to that bistro — you know — the one next to the flower shop, and it’s closed. If you trip the irrelevance flag, look for verbal punctuation announcing his judgment of irrelevance.

When the illusion is broken, you are going to discover that… The reason for this typeface selection is, of course, practicality. Ten letters on one line are the same width as ten other letters, which puts the world into a pleasant grid construction where X and Y mean something. These types of system-redefining events force your nerd to recognize that the world is not always or entirely a knowable place, and until he reconstructs this illusion, he’s going to be frustrated, and he’s going to act erratically. I’ve written about The Cave elsewhere, but here are the basics. Each object in the Cave has a particular place and purpose. You’ll have 10 minutes before he’ll come stomping out of the Cave — “Where’s the Mac?

These control issues mean your nerd is sensitive to drastic changes in his environment. I develop an incredibly short fuse during system-redefining events, and I’m much more likely to lose it over something trivial and stupid. The Cave is designed to allow your nerd to do his favorite thing, which is working on the project. ” The Cave is also frustrating you because your impression is that it’s your nerd’s way of checking out, and you are, unfortunately, completely correct. The joy your nerd finds in his project is one of problem solving and discovery.

At some point, you, the nerd’s companion, were the project.

You were showered with the fire hose of attention because you were the bright and shiny new development in your nerd’s life.

Your nerd is used to making huge contextual leaps where he’s talking to a friend in one window, worrying about his 401k in another, and reading about World War II in yet another. For many topics, his knowledge is an inch deep and four miles wide. For any given piece of incoming information, your nerd is making a lightning fast assessment: relevant or not relevant?

There are plenty of she nerds out there for which these observations equally apply. It’s clichéd, but a nerd is defined by his computer, and you need to understand why. A nerd has a mental model of the hardware and the software in his head.

Information that your nerd is exposed to when the irrelevance flag is waving is forgotten almost immediately. Next time you hear “Cool,” I want you to ask, “What’d I just say? Small talk is the bane of the nerd’s existence because small talk is a combination of aspects of the world that your nerd hates.

” That awkward grin on your nerd’s face is the first step in getting him to acknowledge that he’s the problem in this particular conversation. When your nerd is staring at a stranger, all he’s thinking is, “I have no system for understanding this messy person in front of me.” This is where the shy comes from. The skills to interact with other people are there. Advanced Nerd Tweakage If you’re still reading, then I’m thinking that your nerd is worth keeping.

It’s another juicy cliché to say that nerds love video games, but that’s not what they love.

A video game is just one more system where your nerd’s job is to figure out the rules that define it, which will enable him to beat it. Your nerd spent a lot of his younger life being an outcast because of his strange affinity with the computer. He knows the compelling parts of the arcs and is mentally editing his versions while watching all three.




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